Sometimes expressing your love for someone can be difficult. It isn’t always easy, despite how much you may adore them. Maybe you can think of the ideas in your head, but getting them into words can be very difficult. Many couples who choose to write their own wedding vows fall into this problem. They have so much love for their significant other, but they just can’t seem to get the words out. Because so many couples have this problem, we at Grand Banquet decided to put together this list of helpful tips on writing your wedding vows. After all, we’ve heard plenty.
1. Come Up With A Structure
Whether you’re writing your wedding vows together or separately, the two of you should definitely come up with some type of structure to follow. You can decide on the approximate length, the type and tone of content, and the promises you’ll be making. You don’t want to promise that you’ll love them always and forever, only for your partner to vow to not leave the toilet seat up.
You’ll also want to discuss whether you’re looking to do a more traditional vow, a modern style, or perhaps something religious. Just make sure you’re both on the same page before starting to write the wedding vows.
2. Think About Your Relationship
If you’re having trouble coming up with ideas about what to write, take some time to reflect on your relationship and write it down.
We suggest creating a “brainstorming bubble” to write down ideas about what you love about your partner. Write their name down in the middle of a piece of paper, and draw a circle around it. Next, start thinking about things you love about them and write them around the name. From there, you can break each item down even further if you need to. This will help get your thoughts about them on paper and give you a good basis of where to start.
3. Plan Ahead Of Time
If you know you’re not good at writing, make sure you’re planning ahead of time. You don’t want to wait until the last week before you’ve gotten anything down. Try and start at least a month before the big day. Begin with the brainstorming bubble mentioned above, and see if you’re able to write a few lines here and there. Try and have a draft done at least a week beforehand, and then make any necessary edits before the big day.
4. Look For Inspiration
It’s okay to look outside for inspiration. There are plenty of wedding vow examples out there for you to get ideas and inspiration. Just make sure you’re not simply copying someone else’s words. Make sure what you write truly reflects how you feel about your significant other.
Try and find inspiration from a song, book, or movie you both love. There could be a few meaningful lines from these art forms that will be important to both of you.
5. Stay True To Yourself
Just because these are the biggest promises you’ll ever make doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stay true to yourself. You don’t need to sound completely formal if that’s not who you are. Your significant other will love your vows all the more if they can tell that your words are really coming from your heart.
There’s no reason to try and be extra funny, serious, or spiritual if that’s not who you are. Remember that these vows are all about how you feel about your partner—not how someone else does.
6. Keep It Short
This is indeed your wedding day and it is all about you, but do try to keep your wedding vows fairly concise (under three minutes is a good idea). This also goes back to the structure of your wedding vows. Make sure you’ve spoken to your significant other about how long you both plan on having your vows so that they aren’t noticeably unbalanced.
7. Actually Include Promises
It seems like this would be common sense, but you’d be surprised how often couples don’t actually make promises during their vows. They are called “vows” for a reason, after all! Make sure you’re actually including promises to your significant other.
If you don’t know exactly what those vows should be, take some time in your reflecting process to write down the some of the things that you enjoy doing with your partner. For example, making them laugh, showing your affection, and making them feel safe. More than likely, these are the vows you’ll be making for the rest of your life.
8. Make A Legible Copy Of Your Wedding Vows
You don’t want to be standing in front of all your guests, struggling to read off of some napkin that you wrote your vows on the night before. Make sure you edit your wedding vows and print out a clean, legible version that you can use for notes while you’re saying them.
This isn’t so much a part of the writing process, but it’s one of the most important tips for a speech or vow. Make sure you’ve practiced your wedding vows multiple times before finally saying them. You want to look your partner in their eyes when professing your undying love for them, and practicing your wedding vows beforehand will definitely help with this.
Rehearsing will also allow you to make any final adjustments that are needed. It’s one thing to write the vows, but it’s another to actually say them out loud. Doing this while standing in front of a mirror might bring to light some needed adjustments.
Use your rehearsal time to understand how you truly want the wedding vows to come across to your partner. There will likely be some pivotal moments in the wedding vows, and you may want to emphasize those with pauses and intonation.
Have fun writing, and good luck!